Love is in the air! I keep the ceiling fans on, but it’s settling on the tabletops just the same. Did you know that love is 80% human skin cells? Unless you have a pet, in which case a sizable chunk of love is made up of your pet.
Here I am, nostrils full of love, while you’re pouring out your luv trubs all over my anonymous Google Form. Any Marxist can see it’s time for a little radical redistribution. So breathe easy, lovelorn: this week, I’m sneezing all over you.
Dear Sofia,
Your "How to Flirt" advice must have worked, because I've started actually going on dates with someone! Do you have any good date ideas?
- An amateur dater
I have one final trick up my very short sleeve: I’m moving this newsletter to Wednesdays! “Oh my God,” you’re probably thinking. Well, there is no God—or if there is, he’s too busy losing at poker to save you from my fickle ways! Hahahahaha!
Your maniacal, omnipotent, humble servant,
S