Hi!
This week’s subject is the scourge of our time: spiders. And then after that, folks, listen here: in the interest of Getting My Act Together (tm) and Finishing My Book (patent pending), big news:
I am moving this newsletter from once a week to once every other (week).
But Sofia, we need you!
A bird never learns to fly if you keep holding its hand.
Birds don’t have hands.
They have one hand.
No, they don’t. They have wings.
They have one hand and two wings.
Birds have no hands!!
They have feet, don’t they? Who’s ever heard of a creature with feet but no hands?
I can’t believe I ever took advice from you.
And there you have it: you’re out of the nest, and you no longer need me. Fly, my beautiful, one-handed birds.
Anyway, the point is I’ll still be here, but not quite at much. That’s how we retain quality, you see. A biweekly schedule is to quality as sodium is to water: the former keeps the latter in the body. I know this about bodies, by the way, because one of my clients needed a cute drawing of swollen feet this week. Don’t ever let anyone tell you a cartoonist’s life isn’t full of glamour.
Onward:
Dear Sofia,
I found and vacuumed an exotic spider in my bathroom. I live in a very unexotic city. Animal control is slow to respond to whether it’s dangerous or not. How do I stay sane?
Love your work,
Alice
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you in two weeks! In the meantime, don’t you ever forget that you can submit an anonymous question anytime here. Maybe you should write that URL down on the back of your hand, or make a catchy mnemonic tune, like to the tune of “867-5309” but with “h-t-t-p-s-colon-forward slash-forward slash.”
-S