Sex!

(or lack thereof)

Here we are again!

And in lightning speed: another post, just two weeks since the last? You know what that means: Sofia is avoiding her actual work. She is, she is! She is using you and your pleas for help as procrastination, and she is talking about it in the third person, no less.

Here’s my update: I’m considering getting absolutely yoked. I want my biceps to have biceps. I want to deadlift the entire cast of Abbott Elementary, stacked one atop the other. I want to have to stare at the party through the window because I can’t fit through the door. This, I am considering, might soon be my number one priority, which is a phrase that I am pulling from my below advice column but using in another context: in this case, getting swole. Read on if ur horny, by which I mean intrigued!

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Dear Sofia,
I’m 28 years old and have never had sex. I know it’s not a big deal but sometimes I feel very insecure. It’s also hard for me to meet women and talk to them romantically. I have friends and family but this does feel sad sometimes.
- a shy male

Thanks for reading! Choose your own adventure:

• If you want to learn more about that humpy dog → see Hilary’s Substack!

• If you want to ask me an anonymous question → click here!

• If you have advice for me on getting jacked:

• If you want to give me a little ping of dopamine → like this post

• If you’re committed to the chronicle of me getting jacked and you need to be kept absolutely 34DD abreast:

• If you want to start a ‘book’ club in which you close-read my column and discuss the quality of my advice with a group of your most intellectual friends while nibbling on $20 cheese:

<3,s